I ended yesterday's Rant with this verse, "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 9:9). And that's pretty much all I want to talk about today. But let me render it in the Message Bible first, because it reads a lot easier. "Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precarious life. Each day is God's gift. Its all you get in exchange for the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one!" And while this verse (and this Rant series) is kind of loosely about the husband/wife dynamic... partnership... relationship... I think what we need to get from this verse is that is is so important to spend your time on the things in life that are so important. And I've long and often said that there are only two things in the universe that are truly important: God and people. Loving God and loving people. Loving God BY loving people. Its all about love. And there is no higher form of love than giving your life for (and to) your friends. Friends, as Logan defines it, being family you choose. Or, even more excellently (because love is the most excellent way, right?), the people that cross your path. Remember Peter walking along, minding his own business, and healing that dude with his shadow? You can go out of your way for people. You should go out of your way for people. But you don't have to go looking for people to love. There are plenty of people in your life already that you can--and should--love. Didn't Mother Teresa say something along the lines of, "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family"? Charity starts at home. This is our portion in life: Loving the people God has placed in our life. Being good stewards over the things (people) we've been given charge over. And, listen, loving people doesn't mean controlling them. Love does not demand its (HIS) own way. Ever. Love endures. Love lets people be who they are and does whatever it (HE) can do to support them. Of course, this doesn't mean enabling people. Sometimes the only way to love someone is to tell them no. And that's ok. But the point I'm trying to make today is how important it is to pour yourself into those people in your life. Living joyfully with the wife you love. Relishing life with her each and every day. And if you don't feel that way towards your spouse, can I just say this? Maybe its not the right fit. Relationships are hard, but they shouldn't be a battle. Your home should be your safe place. Where you want to go, not where you need to escape from. You should want to spend time with those people. That's how kids (especially), and all people (really) spell love: T-I-M-E. Giving yourself. Giving your time. Being there for, and with, your family. That's what this life is for. That's what its all about. And, as we say in the Carter family, "Family is forever."

I think my main focus of this Rant series is that a wife is a blessing, and it is important to treat her as such. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 has a lot to say about marriage. Today I want to focus on 1 Corinthians 7:3, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband." Give and take. Because marriage, like any good relationship, is a two way street. If you're just trying to manipulate and control someone... that's not love. And there are (at least) two Bible verses that command a husband to love his wifey. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25), and "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them" (Colossians 3:19). Point being, the point of having a wife is not to GET something from her, but to GIVE something to her. To give YOURSELF to her. That's the picture of Jesus and the church. A husband (Jesus) laying His life down for His bride (the church). And, by the way, WE are the church. The church isn't just somewhere you go. The church is someone you are. Individually AND collectively. Now, I want to talk about this idea of "due benevolence." And, listen, there IS a sexual element to it. That's the context of what Paul was writing about. You know, its better to wed than to burn with lust, and all that. But the word "benevolence" is number 2133 in Strong's Greek Concordance and it means, "kindness; euphemistically conjugal duty: - benevolence, good will." So while there's an element of being physically intimate with your spouse--which is good, and proper, and important--I think the benevolence that is due to your spouse is simply making sure that they know that they are number one in your life. Making sure that you love, honor, and cherish them. And my favorite part of that verse is the "likewise" part. Husbands and wives receiving from each other and releasing to each other. Kind of the idea of figuring things out together instead of running to other people when you have a problem. And, yes, I agree that there is wisdom in multitude of counsel. But sometimes, when it comes to that husband/wife relationship, you need to just block out everybody else and figure it out together. Because that's what the marriage is--figuring life out together. Sharing your life with each other. Making sure you both know that you are both the most important adult in the others' life. Let me say it this way: If its important to one of y'all... its important. Because she is important to him. And he is important to her. That's the way it has to be in order to work. Walking side by side through whatever comes into your path. Walking hand in hand. Giving the other what they need by giving yourself. Love is giving. Giving everything you have and everything you are. And the bond that you form with your spouse is just about the most important one that you're going to have. Look at Ecclesiastes 9:9, "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in his life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun."

I'm gonna get into this aspect of the husband/wife dynamic and (hopefully) get it out the way. 1 Timothy 2:12, "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." The man, or the husband, as head of the household. King of the castle. But let's be real. To have a successful marriage--or relationship of any kind--it has to be a partnership. And I'm not talking 50-50 either, it takes everything you've got. Because, like I mentioned yesterday, relationships are hard work. But they shouldn't be a battle. Its not fifty-fifty. Its 100-100. Because that's what love is: giving everything you are and everything you have. So let's get past the idea of anybody usurping any authority and let's understand that we are in this together. And as far as not suffering a woman to teach... some of my favorite teachers and preachers are women. I don't necessarily think that's what the Bible is talking about. I think its more the idea of spirit and soul. If we look at the man as representing the spirit, and the woman representing the soul, then we can get on board with not letting the soul "teach." The soul is, well, soulful. Selfish. That beast nature that we're so fond of, especially when we want an excuse for doing something we shouldn't be doing. "I'm only human." "Its my nature, I can't help it." Well, the truth of the matter is... our nature is the new (true) nature of God. The love nature. And that's what the Spirit--the Spirit of truth that leads and guides us into all truth--teaches us. The Spirit teaches us how to love by teaching us how we are loved. We love because God first loved us. It is His love in us coming out of us. Filling ourselves to overflowing (with what we've already been filled with) is what allows us to be who we are. Who we really are. Which is who we are in Christ. Which is who Christ is in us. I keep saying it: Its the difference between being self-centered and Christ-centered (people-centered). The soul is concerned only with herself. The Spirit is concerned with others. Love is giving. Giving what you've got to the people you come into contact with. That's what life is--to live is to love and to love is to live. That's what relationships are all about--not getting something from someone, but giving yourself to someone. Not usurping authority, but sharing authority. Being on the same page, even when you have to compromise. Having a united front. Sharing EVERYTHING. The good, the bad, and the ugly. That's all I ever wanted out of a marriage. Someone to share my life with. And lucky for me, that's what I found. That's what I have. But when we get it twisted and think "I'm up here and she's down there," that's when things get out of whack. Its so important to get past the idea of what women can and can't do. Or what men can and can't do. Just figure out what works for you. In your dynamic. Let me end with a memory verse to (probably) set up tomorrow's Rant: "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3). Partnership. Togetherness. Do unto each other. Relationship. Love!

I want to talk about the wife for a few days. And this is easy for me, because I have an awesome one. But I want to focus on how important that husband and wife relationship is both in the natural and in the Spiritual. Because WE are the bride of Christ. That's important to understand. But also, well, look at Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." There aren't many relationships that top the husband/wife dynamic. Maybe the Father/Son, considering that's how God chose to express Himself to us in the New Testament, with the person of Jesus. But even then, in a sense, its the same. Because Jesus said, "I and my Father are one" (John 10:30). And that's the key. No separation. One flesh. We get so caught up in how high and almighty God is, and how low and horrible we are. "I'm just a sinner saved by grace..." Well, if you've been saved by grace you're not a sinner. You're something else. A saint. A Son. A wife. And I know I'm mixing my metaphors. But stick with me. Because this is good. Saved by grace. Transformed. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish" (Ephesians 5:25-27). Did you pick up what I'm putting down? Jesus cleaned us. He did everything that needed to be done. So that we could cleave to Him on an equal level. An even footing. When God pulled a rib out of Adam in order to create Eve He pulled it out of Adam's SIDE. So that neither would be higher than the other, so that neither would walk in front or behind, but so that they could walk side by side. Hand in hand. And that's something that we HAVE to understand: A marriage is a partnership. Its aboout two people standing back to back against any and every thing. Having each other's backs through thick and thin. And, again, as I mentioned, this is easy for me to Rant about because this is what I've got. But I see so many, not even marriages necessarily, but just relationships that are so twisted. One person controlling or dominating the other. And I told my brother this the other day, "Relationships are hard work... but they shouldn't be a battle." Sometimes I feel like we want to be with someone--anyone--that we're willing to settle for anything. And that's not ok. Because, as we saw in my passage of Scripture, Jesus GAVE HIMSELF for the church. For His bride. Love is giving, right? So if you're trying to get, you've missed the point. Even when we're talking about that marriage to Jesus, its not about getting. Its about receiving. Because He's already given everything He has and everything He is. And that's how we ought to treat OUR partner (whether it be husband OR wife). So let me just end tonight's Rant with this: "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD" (Proverbs 18:22). When you find yourself a legit wifey, its a good thing!

Have you ever heard the concept that you have to help someone else build their thing before God will give you your thing? Well, I'm not sure this is one hundred percent true. Especially when--unless you're specifically talking about building a church--it can be hard to find someone who is building what you want to build. So I think what we oughta say is just simply that we ought to help people. And not necessarily worry about getting anything out of it. Now, having said that, look at this: "His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord" (Matthew 25:21). Start small, I think is my point for tonight. Because I've found that the little things ARE the big things. Sometimes as seemingly small as listening to someone when they need to talk is huge. Being there for someone. And I'm not saying you have to solve people's problems for them. A lot of the time people don't want solutions. They just want to be heard. But in order to be a good and faithful servant, in order to be a good steward, we have to take care of those things we've been entrusted with. No matter how small they seem. That's the key. That's what we need to be able to focus on, or prioritize. Look at Zechariah 4:10, "For who hath despised the day of small beginnings?..." We seem to think that if its not big and loud its not important. But nothing could be further from the truth. I've often said you have to do something wrong before you can do it right. That's called learning and growing. You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't make any mistakes. And you learn way more from failure than you do from success. Success can make you soft. But failure makes you hungry. Point being--its not beneath you. Helping people, with whatever THEY need, the way THEY need to be helped, is not beneath you. In fact, its your calling. Its what you were put here to do. We were created to be loved and to love one another. To receive and release the love of God. To be good stewards with the gift we've been given. To experience and enjoy the gift we've been given by giving it away. By sharing it. And while the point is not to get anything, Jesus said that by proving yourself trustworthy with small things we will be given big things. When you do what's right on a small scale you are learning how to do it on a big scale. Ministering to one person is training for ministering to more people. And I'm not necessarily talking about talking. Or preaching. The ministry of reconciliation. The family business. God reconciled us to Himself and gave us that Word (which is Jesus, which is love) of reconciliation. If you know it, throw it. Don't worry about how large or small your audience seems. Don't worry about changing the world. Just love one person, and change THEIR world. Love the people you come into contact with. Take care of the love you've been given... by giving it away. Guard and keep your heart by keeping it open to love. Letting God's love flow in and out. Be faithful with the little you've been given and you WILL be given more. More love!

Here's where it can get a little bit tricky: We've been talking about taking care of what we've been given, right? As always, there's another aspect of this. Because our relationship with God is manifested in our relationship with each other. Taking care of the love that God has given us means taking care of each other. Look at Philippians 2:4-5, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Did you catch that? We let the mind of Christ (that's already in us) BE in us... by looking after each other. By taking care of each other. Which is what being a good steward is all about! The most important thing that we've been "given," in a sense, is each other. That's what God has trusted us with. People. I've long said that there are only two things in the universe that are truly important: God and people. Loving God and loving people. Loving God BY loving people. Letting Hiim love us and loving Him back by loving each other. That's what the abundant, everlasting, eternal, Resurrection Life of God is all about. Because the life of God is a life of love. Because God IS love. That's not just what He does, that's who He is. And since He lives in us, that's not just what WE do, that's who WE ARE! We CAN take care of each other because He takes such good care of us. And, listen, I truly believe there is a lot to be said about ministering out of your hurt. Ministering out of your pain. But its even so much better, so much more powerful, to be able to show people the way THROUGH what they're going through. Letting them know that you've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and came out the other side. A map is cool, but a guide is priceless. Someone who knows the ins and outs. Someone who can show you the tricks. Show you what's what. So when we're talking about being a good steward... I think what I'm trying to say tonight is that we need to take care of each other. We need to stop being self-centered and start being Christ-centered (people-centered). I'm telling you, and I've seen this happen, if you're throwing someone over so that you can "serve God"... you're not serving God! Serving God is serving people. Jesus said whatever you do to the least of them you do to Him. Being a steward is love being a steward of people. Taking care of the gift we've been given--one more time, LOVE--is taking care of people. We can't lose the human aspect though. Because that's everything. You can't have love without having someone TO love. Relationship. We need to cultivate and nourish those connections we have with each other. We need to be good stewards of the things... and the people... that have been placed in our lives. We need to take care of the things that matter to us. And we need to understand that PEOPLE matter most. We have to make sure that our priorities are straight. We have to make sure that we're not losing sight of what (WHO) really matters. We have to make sure we're taking care... of each other!

"Take care of this for me." That's one of the biggest things you can ask of a person. And it doesn't matter what you're asking them to take care of. It could be a plant... a pet... or the most powerful force in the universe--love. It doesn't matter. Because asking someone to take of something for you is trusting them. Putting whatever it is literally in their hands. And once you do that, you can't really control what happens next. Not that I think you can control much of anything, anyway. My uncle always talks about how life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. What's gonna happen is gonna happen. You can't control it. And you surely can't control other people. You can only control yourself. Your reaction. What you do with what happens. So rather than going into business by, or for, yourself... just take care of what your heavenly Father has given you. Just be a good steward. And in this case, what we're talking about, is the love of God. That's what we've been given. That's what we are stewards of. And in order to take care of love you must--MUST--give it away. Because love IS giving. Remember the parable Jesus told about the servants? Matthew chapter 25? Look at Matthew 25:25-27, "And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have recieved mine own with usury." Point being--the master is not happy when the servant does nothing with what he's been trusted with. Thinking that we are guarding, or keeping, our hearts by shutting them down is the exact opposite of the truth. That's the worst thing you can do. Your heart only has one purpose: To be a conduit of love. To let love in and out. With every beat of the heart. With every beat of God's heart in our chests. The only way you can truly guard, or keep, your heart is by keeping it open. By guarding AGAINST shutting it down. Because a heart that is open to love is a heart that CAN love. You can't give what you don't have. And you can only give what you do have. You have to let God love you before you can love Him back by loving others with that same love. You have to take care of what you've been given. But you can't take care of it by hiding it away. Bury it under a bushel? NO! I'm gonna let it shine. Love is for giving away. Because love IS giving. Life is for living. And you can't live without loving because living and loving are the same thing. You can't have one without the other. They aren't just connected. They are the same thing. God has given us a gift. An inheritance. He has brought us into the family business and entrusted us with its care. So give what you've got. Be who you are. Let what's inside--the love of God--come out by knowing and believing that its in there!

A steward takes care of what he's been given charge over, right? A good and faithful servant multiplying his master's investment. Well, when we're talking about the family business, we're talking about love. When we're talking about what we've been given charge over, we're talking about love. Its all about love. God IS love. That's not just what He does, that's who He is. That's what He does BECAUSE that's who He is. And that's who we are. Because Jesus is our true identity--God in the flesh, love in a body. God in our flesh, love in our body. He has given us everything He has and everything He is. And we are called to be stewards. To take care of what He's given us. But we don't take care of it by hiding it away. Or hording it. We take care of love by giving it away. Because love IS giving. Giving everything you have and everything you are is my personal definition of love. Laying your life down for your friends. Giving what you've got. Which you can only do by knowing what you've got. Look at 1 Peter 4:2, "As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifest grace of God." As you've received... give. Receiving and releasing. That's the Divine Order of things. Knowing and believing. Because you can't believe something you don't know. You can't give what you don't have. And you can only give what you do have. We have been given the manifest grace of God. We have been given the forgiveness of God. The mercy of God. The love of God! As you've received it... minister it. If you know it, throw it. Give what you've got. Because love IS giving! Being a steward isn't about going into business for yourself, or by yourself. Being a steward is about taking care of what you've been entrusted with. The word "stewards" in our verse in 1 Peter is number 3623 in Strong's Greek Concordance and it means, "A house distributor (that is, manager), or overseer, that is, an employee in that capaticy; by extension a fiscal agent (treasurer); figuratively a preacher (of the Gospel)." We have been given the Gospel--the good news that God is love and He loves you--and now we can preach that Gospel. And you've probably heard the old phrase, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and if you have to... use words." Because the Gospel is love. And love isn't always about talking. Charity is love in action. Putting your money where your mouth is. Where the rubber meets the road. Giving people what they need. Seeing a need and meeting it. BEING what people need. Being there for people. That's what Jesus was (and is) for us. That's what the Holy Spirit is, the Comforter. The Spirit of Truth that leads and guides us into all truth. The truth that, again, God is love and He loves you. We don't have to manufacture that love. We don't have to produce that love. God has given us that love. All we have to do is take care of it. By receiving it and releasing it. Letting what's inside come out by knowing and believing that its in there. Multiplying the investment by taking what we've got and making it grow... by giving it away. By sharing it. And that, by the way, is how we experience and enjoy it. So... win win!

I'm really trying to hammer home the point that we don't do anything--anything!--on our own. Even way back in Genesis 2:18, "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." We're social creatures by nature. (Even an antisocial hermit like me.) We're better together. "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12). We need each other. Love is giving. And you can't give unless you have something to give, and someone to give it to. Love is about relationships. The light in me connecting to the light in you. And relationships take a lot of work. Now, listen, when I say relationships take a lot of work I'm NOT saying relationships should be a battle. If you're constantly battling with someone... that's not good. If you're trying to manipulate and control people... that's not love. That's abuse. And you should never put yourself or keep yourself in an abusive relationship. You should love people--all people--but that doesn't mean you have to let people abuse you. Once you've given something everything you've got its either enough... or its not. And if its not, then its not. Shrug your shoulders and move on. You can't reach everybody. You can't connect with everybody. And the more you try to reach everybody, do everything, be someone you're not... the more frustrated you will be. So instead of all that--which I think could be summed up as going into business for yourself--just be a good steward. Just take what you've been given (by your heavenly Father) and share it. Love without expectations. Give what you've got without worrying about getting anything back. The trick is--you can only do that by knowing what you've got. By knowing that what you've got is enough. Enough for them AND enough for you. Because while it is not good that man should be alone... our relationship with the God who is love makes sure that we are never alone! I'm talking about connecting with people, yes. But that connection starts (and ends, the Alpha and Omega) with God. Love is the only real connection. You can't give what you don't have. And you can only give what you do have. God has given us His love. His Spirit. His life. Himself. And we are to be good stewards of what He has given us. We are to take care of that love. By taking care of each other. By giving it away. By giving ourselves away. Jesus said to love one another as He loves us. And He loves us so much that He not only gave His life FOR us, He gave His life TO us. So that we could have it. So that we could experience it. By letting Jesus live His own abundant, everlasting, eternal, Resurrection Life in us, and through us, and as us. We don't do it by ourselves. We can't. We don't have anything except what our heavenly Father has given us. And He only gave it to us so that we could experience and enjoy it by giving it away. Letting the love inside of us come out by knowing and believing that its in there. That's what being a steward is all about--taking care of what we've been given... by giving it away!

The thing to remember--and we might get into this even more in the next Rant series... maybe--about being involved in the Father's business--the family business--is that we stewards. He created it. He gave it to us. And all we have to do is take care of it. All we have to do is receive it and release it. Look at 1 Corinthians 4:1-2, "Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful." We have been given the mysteries of God. The secret that was hidden has been revealed. To us. And in us. And through us. And as us. The secret that is the ultimate truth of the universe: God is love and He loves you. That's the family business. That's what God is about. Because that's who God is. And in order to be faithful with what we've been given... we have to give it away. That's what it means to love someone--giving them everything you are and everything you have. Laying your life down for your friends. Jesus said that's the greatest love a man can have. And then He went to the cross and literally loved us with that love. And, listen, there are a group of people I would lay down my life for without even thinking about it... but I don't think that's necessarily what He meant in every case. I think laying our lives down, in a Spirtual sense, is about esteeming others higher than ourselves. Putting others first. Looking after the things of others instead of always looking out for ourselves. The difference between being self-centered and Christ-centered (people-centered). Again, that's being faithful stewards. Taking care of the gift we've been given by being careless with it. Loving people no matter what. Not because they deserve it, or because they've earned it, but because you have it. Period. And, like my pastor always says, "If you know it... throw it." Receive it and release it. Give what you've got. Obey that New Commandment for a New Man and love others with the love that Jesus loves you with. Be about your Father's business, and don't worry about what anybody else thinks about it. Be a good and faithful steward. Let what's inside come out by knowing and believing its in there. Let the LOVE inside come out by knowing and believing that you are loved. That you are love! They say if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life. So if you do what you do WITH love... it doesn't matter what you do. Works and labor don't work. But doing whatsoever you do as unto the Lord makes it all worthwhile. And then, even higher than that, is doing that thing that makes you... you. Doing THAT thing with love. Being the best you that you can be by knowing who you really are. Jesus. God in the flesh. Love in a body. God in OUR flesh. Love in OUR body. That's the family business. And that's how we participate in it. Its all about love. Knowing that God loves you and loving Him back by loving the people that you come into contact with. Receive and release the gift you've been given. And in that way experience and enjoy it. Live the abundant, everlasting, eternal Resurrection Life of God by letting HIM live it in you, and through you, and as you!