Accepting Embrace part 3
Helping someone without demanding change from them... that can look a lot like enabling them. And that's where things can get really tricky. Especially when the person you're trying to help is involved in something "bad." Or, more specifically, something harmful. Let me keep using my example of alcohol. As I've said, I don't believe it's my job to get people to change. It's not "on me" to force someone to stop drinking. It's my job to do what I can do to help them. Giving someone who is drunk a ride home, rather than letting them drive for example. I think that's a true expression of love. And understanding. And acceptance. But if that same person wants me to TAKE them to the bar, or go to the bar with them... I think that's where I would draw the line. If that person wanted me to get them alcohol, I would probably refuse. Because there's a difference between laying your life down for your friends, and putting yourself in a bad situation. And I get it: Jesus put Himself in the worst situation possible. He LITERALLY laid His life down. But He did it so that He could pick it back up. He knew that death wasn't the final stop, but simply another step in the never-ending journey of abundant, everlasting, eternal, Resurrection Life. Without death there couldn't BE Resurrection Life. But I want to focus on what we do for each other today. How far we should go. And the "conventional wisdom" says, "Don't cross an ocean for someone who wouldn't hop a puddle for you." But that's not really love. That's more, "I'll scratch your back, but only if you scratch mine." That's you EXPECTING something. And in my experience, more often than not, when you expect something, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. So what I say is: Cross the ocean. Not because you WANT something, but because you HAVE something! I'm absolutely convinced that the people who are the hardest to love are the people who need love the most. Because they aren't getting it. Because they're hard to love. (Makes sense, right?) But if WE--who know and believe the love of Christ, and are filled with His fulness--don't love them... who in the world will? Jesus said people will know His disciples because they have love for each other. Because they are different. Because, like Jesus, they are "friends of sinners." And the love that He loved us with--the love that we ought to love each other with--was laying His life down for His friends. So I say again--and this is a personal conviction type deal here--love no matter what. But draw a line where you're comfortable. You don't have to condone something in order to accept the person who is doing it. I don't have to drink just because I'm friends with people who do. But I don't have to try to get them to stop drinking either. If the Holy Spirit can't "change them" (by revealing the change that took place on the cross) what chance do I have? I guess I'm trying to say, "Love everybody, all the time. But don't put yourself in a bad situation either." Just do what you can do, where you're at, for those around you!