Affection part 3
When you're loving someone, you're laying your life down for them. You're not worried about you. You're seeing a need in THEM and meeting it. Giving THEM what you've got. You're not worried about getting anything from them. You're focused on taking care of them. And that can be tricky. It really can. Because sometimes people get stuck on what they WANT, to the detriment of what they NEED. Let me say it as clearly as I can: What you need is more important than what you want. Sometimes what you want isn't good for you. At all. And that's why when you're growing up it's your parents' job to regulate. "Can I have more?" No, you've had an appropriate amount. Too much is too much. But the point I'm trying to make today is that when you take yourself out of the equation it's easy (easier?) to see that love and affection are the same thing. The reason we don't like people is usually because we don't get what we want from them. They slight us in some way (intentional or unintentional), or they are different than we are. There's a lack of understanding. A miscommunication. We build walls instead of bridges. We want to get in where we fit in, and we think the best (only?) way to do that is by getting rid of everybody who DOESN'T fit into our box. Or our circle. Our tribe. Whatever you want to call it. What it comes down to is, who are you looking at? Who are you paying attention to? Them... or yourself? And, listen, I'm a big believer in self-love. Self care. Making sure you don't burn yourself out. My son, Logan, always tells me I need to do more stuff for myself, because I'm always wearing myself out giving everything I've got to others. I've mentioned this before, but for me that usually means eating chocolate and watching scary movies. That's how I relax. That's how I recharge. But at the same time, Jesus taught us that His meat (His sustenance) was to do the will of His Father. He was hungry... and then He ministered to someone... and then He wasn't hungry anymore. There's a lot to be said about ministering out of your weakness. Being vulnerable with people. Being real with people. And I'm telling you, when you're real with people... that's where the relationship comes from. The connection. The bond of love. That's when you start to like people. When you see them as a person instead of an action. "Well, he lied to me." And then we see them as only that: A liar. But maybe he did lie... and maybe he didn't. Maybe it was a miscommunication, or a misunderstanding. And even if it wasn't, our actions don't define us. Our heavenly Father defines us. Jesus defines us. We are the righteousness of God in Christ... even when we mess up. Nothing can change who you really are, because nothing can separate you from the love of Christ... and that's who you are. Love is not just what we do. Love is who we are. Even when we mess up. What I'm trying to say today is that when we start to see each other as God sees us... that's when we can get past "faking it 'til we make it" and that's when we can really begin to enjoy each other. Whether we have differences or not. In fact, we can enjoy each other BECAUSE of our differences!