Anyway part 3
I know it can be hard to give and give and give and get nothing in return. It's like pouring your heart into a black hole. And that can leave you feeling empty. Which is why love can seem to be tricky. Especially when it comes to intimate relationships with people. You can only be betrayed by people you accept, and trust, and love. Because people will always let you down, but it's when you're counting on them that it hurts the most. So I'm not saying you should put yourself in a bad situation. (Even though I believe God can bring you through a "bad" situation and you'll be stronger on the other side.) I'm simply saying... love them anyway. Don't expect them to respond the way you want them to. I think what we expect (or wish) is what screws us up the most, most of the time. Because things don't go the way we expect, and then we get disappointed. Not because of what actually happened, but because of what we WANTED to happen. Let me say it like this: The problem isn't the problem. Your attitude about the problem is the problem. When you're always banging your head against the wall trying to MAKE things happen, or MAKE things change, all you ever end up with is a headache. You can't make people do... anything, really. And if your happiness is dependent on someone else doing or not doing something then you're in for an emotional roller coaster. Because sometimes they will and sometimes they won't. And it has more to do with them than it does with you. I always advise people not to take things personally. Because I believe instead of people being "against you" they are really "for themselves." And you might be collateral damage, but I don't think it's very often malicious. (Sometimes, sure. But even then... don't take it personally, even if it is.) And don't stop loving people. Two wrongs don't make a right, right? Jesus said it like this, "But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matthew 5:39). And then Paul added, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). Don't resist evil, but don't be overcome by it. Don't fight fire with fire. Kill 'em with kindness. Destroy your enemies by making them your friends. If someone is giving you anger, or bitterness, or hurt that's because they HAVE anger, bitterness, and hurt. You can't give what you don't have, and you can only give what you do have. So instead of feeding that fire by giving them back what they gave you... give them what YOU have. Show them a more excellent way. Don't be a thermometer and take the temperature. Be a thermostat and SET the temperature! It doesn't matter what they give you. Because you're already full of the best thing going. You don't have to accept what they give, because you've already been filled to overflowing with the love of Christ. You don't have room for anything else. God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all. Which means there's no darkness in YOU at all. Which means you can love even when it seems like the result is people loving you less. Even when it seems like they reject you and your love. They might resist it, because they might not understand it, but they won't completely reject it. They can't. Love is all-powerful. Love wins.