Boundaries part 1
It's ok to have boundaries. In fact, it is necessary to have boundaries. Look at Matthew 5:38-39, "Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." A pretty common idea in religious circles, right? Turning the other cheek. But I feel like, to some degree, we've used that as an excuse to let people keep slapping us. When, in fact, that is just an admonition to not retaliate. To stop the idea of "an eye for an eye." Rather than fighting back, just be peaceful. But add this to that: "If they welcome you, be gentle in your conversation. If they don't welcome you, quietly withdraw. Don't make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way" (Matthew 10:13-14 MSG). I don't believe--and I never have, and I never will--that you should stand there and let someone keep slapping you. I don't think God wants us to put ourselves, or keep ourselves, in a bad situation. What father would want to see his child get abused? What the Bible talks about is not retaliating. Not fighting back. Shrugging your shoulders and moving on down the road. We are called to love everybody. That's what love is. Love is unconditional, and love is universal. But some people you have to love from a distance. Because some people are not good for you. Some people will take advantage of your love for them. They will take, take, take and only give you the worst of themselves. Love is giving the best of yourself. Giving everything you have and everything you are. But once you've given it all you've got... that's either enough, or it's not. You can't make people accept you. You can't make people pick up what you're laying down. Some people just won't. And that's ok. If you can't reach someone... then it's up to someone else to reach them. You can't do it all. And we have these weird soul ties to people... but we don't have to. We don't have to let people continue to abuse us. That's not ok. It IS ok to set boundaries and limits on what we're willing to accept. And I'm not talking about trying to change people. I believe only the Holy Spirit can change people--by showing people who they really are. But if they're not ready, willing, or able to listen to the Holy Spirit... chances are they won't listen to you. They might laugh in your face. And if they do, well, you've done what you can do by giving it your all. How could you ever possibly give more than that? Either it's enough... or it's not. And either way you've done your part. Either way you've given it what you got. Because even if you give the best of yourself... that doesn't mean people will accept it. You need to be able to shrug your shoulders and walk away from a bad situation. Self-care is important. Letting people wreck you is unhealthy. And the kind of people that WOULD wreck you... shouldn't have a place in your life. They shouldn't be allowed to be in a position to wreck you. Love people always. But if you're not welcomed... set some boundaries. Shrug your shoulders and walk away. Let people be who they are, but don't let them take you down with them!