Boundaries part 2
Boundaries are ok. More than ok. They are necessary. Healthy. Because people WILL take advantage of you, if you let them. One of the truest things I've ever found in this life is that what you allow is what will continue. People are selfish. They will try to get whatever they can for themselves. From you. And, listen, I'm not saying we shouldn't give what we've got. That's what love is. Love is giving. Giving everything you have and everything you are. What I'm saying is, once you've given what you've got... that has to be enough. Because you can only give what you've got. You can't give more than you've got. How could you? But we wear ourselves slap out trying to do too much. Over-extending ourselves. Burning out because we're trying to shine too brightly. So while yesterday I think I kind of focused a little bit on toxic, abusive people that don't have a place in our lives, today I want to focus on knowing our limits. Knowing our boundaries so we don't get in over our heads. It's ok to say "no" to people. More than ok. Necessary. Healthy. Because while I believe there is a lot to be said about ministering out of our hurt or our pain--once you've been through something you can help other people through the same thing, or similar things--but at the same time... when you're on an airplane they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help anybody else put theirs on. Because if you're passed out on the floor... you aren't going to be any good to anyone. Self-care is important. And I'm not saying that you should throw other people over because it's more convenient for you to say no to them. I'm saying there are things I can do and things I can't do. Things I'm good at and things I'm not. And when I try to do the things I can't do, the things I'm not goood at--even if my heart is in the right place and I'm trying to do something good--I always tend to do more hurting than helping. Because not everything is for me. Not everything is for me to do. Let me give you an example: I have a truck. So people hit me up when they need to haul something. And I always say yes. Because that's something I can do. Something I've positioned myself to do (by buying a truck). But I can't sing or dance. So if someone asked me to come and perform in that way... I'd probably pass. I know my limits. I know what I'm capable of... and what I'm not. I'll always do what I can do. But we need to get out of the habit of trying to do things that we can't do. Let someone else pick up the slack. There might be someone out there just champing at the bit to sing and dance. So if I do it--when I'm neither qualified nor inclined to do it--I'm robbing them of a chance to share their gifts. By not staying in my lane I force people out of theirs too. Disaster strikes, as Logan and I would say. So just stay in your lane. Do what you can do. And stop trying to do what you can't do. What you're not qualified or called to do. Know your limits and don't exceed them. Know your boundaries and stay inside them!