Boundaries part 5
I read a book the other day, and more or less it was about how it's ok--good, noble even--to defend yourself or others, but it unacceptable to attack people. I agree with that. I'm more than willing to stay on my side of the line. Live and let live. Let people be who they are and do what they do. Until and unless they cross that line. As Jack Reacher says, "If you mess with me you get what you get." And I've extended that to, "If you mess with me or my family, you get what you get." That's my boundary. I'm not interested in, or worried about, how you choose to live your life. And if you want my input, or help, or advice, or whatever... ask for it. I'll give it to you. But, as a pastor I knew was fond of saying, "Unasked for advice is unwanted advice." I'm not going to push what I think, or what I believe, on anybody. I get close enough to doing that with my Rants, and books, and videos. My ministry. But I don't go out of the way to advertise my ministry either. A lot of people in my life don't even know that I'm a pastor. I'm ok with that. Because I don't feel like it's my mission in life to change people. I can't change anybody. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. And even the Holy Spirit "changes" people by revealing to them who they really are. By revealing to them who GOD (LOVE) really is. In them, and through them, and as them. Love is all-powerful, right? Which doesn't mean MOST powerful. It means love has--love IS--all of the power. But we don't use that power to attack people. Ever. Even when Jesus turned over the tables and kicked the money changers out of the temple, He was defending (vigorously, I grant you) His Father's house. He didn't go around attacking people or their way of life. He defended the woman caught in adultery, and forgave her. He wasn't ok with what she was doing, but He didn't condemn it either. He told her (and empowered her) to go out and sin no more. Because when you know better, you can do better. When you know you are loved (by God), you can love. You can love God back by loving people. But love doesn't demand its (HIS) own way. Love doesn't make people jump through hoops. Love is giving. Not getting. So if someone is attacking you in order to get their own way, no matter how they try to spin it... that's not love. Love defends. Yes. But love does NOT attack. That's why we need to be careful to not ever be on a sin hunt. But instead to be on a righteousness hunt. Not telling people what's wrong with them, but telling people what's right with them. Filling them up with what we've been filled up with. Giving them what we've got by knowing what we've got and believing that we've got it. Matthew 5:44 says, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Don't retaliate. Don't stoop to their level. But don't let them steam roll you either. You can pray for people from a distance. You don't ever have to put--or keep--yourself in a bad situation. Know your limits. Know what you can take, what you can handle. And put up boundaries. Don't attack, but don't be afraid to defend either. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to let them abuse you.