Communication part 2
Talking is a part of communication. But it isn't all there is. There is also listening. And there is also behavior. Sometimes the only way people can express themselves--especially when it comes to frustration, or sadness... big emotions--is to lash out. To explode, in a sense. And instead of getting mad at people for expressing themselves in the only way they know how to... we need to listen to what they're saying. Now listen to what I'm saying. I'm not saying it's ok to hurt people. But I am saying hurting people hurt people. Because you can't give what you don't have, and you can only give what you do have. I read a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, "If you don't heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed on those who didn't cut you." Something like that. Point being, sometimes when we're just trying to survive we might catch other people with our collateral damage. And while, again, it's not ok to hurt others... we need to be sensitive sometimes to what other people are dealing with. Because it's not always about me. If you hurt me because you're in pain... and that's the only way you can communicate it... at some point I need to be the bigger person and stop the cycle. It's not an eye for an eye. It's turning the other cheek. It's looking deeper. Not necessarily looking AT what someone is doing, but trying to understand WHY they're doing what they're doing. Trying to understand what is REALLY going on rather than just looking at the (to us) end result of them throwing a fit. Or whatever it is. People WILL tell you what's going on with them. Even if it's not in words. We just have to listen. I can't stress how important it is to listen to what people are telling you. Listen to what people are saying and doing. And listen to WHY they are saying and doing it. You can't slap a band-aid on cancer, as they say. You need to get to the root of the issue. And I believe a lot of time that's the issue. People want to be heard. So they cry and kick and scream in order to make enough noise to get someone's attention. That doesn't mean I like getting yelled at or kicked. But it means I need to be able to see past myself and understand WHY. Put myself in someone else's shoes. Communication is a two-way street. I heard it described as saving someone when they're drowning: You're going to get wet. Love is the most we can do. It is the maximum effort that we can give. Laying our lives down for our friends. Giving everything we have and everything we are. Not trying to make someone else behave in the way we think they should, but standing with them no matter how they are behaving, and showing them that they are heard. That they are loved!