Empathy part 4
I don't like to start a Rant with a memory verse, or a definition. So I usually point out how I don't like to do it... then do it. Like so: Dictionary.com defines "empathy" as, "the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." Basically, putting yourself in someone else's place in order to understand what they're going through. Which can be hard to do, when we can't get past our own, well, past. As long as we continue to let our past define us, hold us back, we will never be able to move forward. And we will certainly never be able to have a healthy relationship with anybody. Because instead of seeing things from THEIR point of view, we will constantly frame everything they do (or don't do) through OUR point of view. That's what I was trying to say with my example of being cheated on and then thinking everybody in every relationship is cheating on everybody else. That's not a good, or healthy, way to look at things. Because here's the deal: Life happens. And not all of it goes exactly the way we think it should. Which is why we cling to verses like Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." And, in my opinion, rightly so. We should cling to verses like this. Because we all go through stuff. But the key word is THROUGH. And remember how we saw that the best way to grin and bear it is to bear each other's burdens? Help each other through it. That's WHY we got through stuff--to learn and grow, and to be able to help each other through what we've been through. So this idea of vicariously experiencing what others are going through, well, a lot of the time we know exactly what people are going through. Because we've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. And yet we still tend to look down on people for going through the exact kinds of things we've been through. Boggles my mind. Because the stuff we go through is common to man. Nobody is reinventing the wheel over here. We're all doing what we can do to get from the start of the day to the end of the day. So why, when we see someone who has stumbled and fallen, do we think that's a great opportunity to kick them when they're down? Why isn't it our first instinct to reach down and help them up? Well, because hurting people hurt people. And if nobody helped us up we don't see why we should help anybody up. An eye for an eye, right? "I made it through, so can they!" Well. Ok. If you're reading this you've survived 100% of the things that have happened in your life. But I can guarantee you you didn't do it alone. You might not know sometimes all of the things people do for you behind the scenes. The things your heavenly Father does for you through people that you don't even know about. My point is: You've probably been where they are right now. And if you haven't, you can still have empathy. You can still see it from their point of view. And either way, most importantly, you can love them. You can help them. Hurting people hurt people, but loved people love people. Break the cycle. Nobody helped you? Then you know what it feels like. Don't put someone else through that. Pull them out of it. Love the hell out of them. Show them that there is a more excellent way, and His name is Jesus. His name... is love!