Forbearing part 3
This skill takes a lot of empathy. Because, as we're hopefully starting to see, its about more than just putting up with people. Its about having affection towards them even when they get on our nerves. Let me quote Matthew 5:41, "And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain." Literally go the extra mile for people. And the part to catch here is in the word "compel." When someone has to compel you to do something, that kind of means its not something you want to do. And while I've gone on record many times saying the best (and possibly only) reason you should do something is because its in your heart to do it... I think this is that. I think that even when someone only hits you up when they need something from you (and that can get old pretty fast, I'll tell ya), what's in your heart is not only helping them, but HELPING them. If that makes any sense. Not just putting up with them and doing the bare minimum, but going the extra mile. Doing whatever it your doing unto God. Colossians 3:23, right? "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." And, really, that takes "deserve" right out of the equation. Because you're not judging whether the person in question deserves your help. You're just seeing a need and meeting it. You're just giving what you've got. Letting what's inside come out. And not worrying about who, what, where, when, why, or how. That's pure love. Giving everything you have and everything you are. Gladly. Cheerfully. Not grudgingly. People can tell when your heart is in something. They can tell fake. They can tell when you don't want to be somewhere. But when you understand this idea of forbearing with love... then wherever you are becomes the place to be. Whatever you're doing (again, in love) is the thing to do. Cookies that are baked with love taste better, right? Because when you love what you're doing, or when you love the person you're doing something for, you do a better job. You put your whole heart into it. You do it heartily. And you don't do it to GET love (love is never about getting, because love is giving), you do it because you HAVE love. Because you ARE love. Let me quote a snippet of the passage we started this Rant series with. We'll do the whole verse of Ephesians 4:2, "With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love." Empathy, right? Meekness (which is not weakness, but is strength under control), and lowliness, and longsuffering. Making the effort to understand WHY someone grinds your gears so badly instead of just writing them off. And it seems to me that people get on our nerves for one of two reasons: 1. They are the exact opposite of us and we can't understand how they could think, or act, that way. 2. They are exactly the same as us and we see in them what we don't like in ourselves. Either way, walking a mile (or an extra mile) in their shoes can help us understand them. And with understanding comes that affection. That love feast. When you start to understand someone, you can break bread with them. You can rub shoulders with them. You can stop seeing yourself as better than them. You can start seeing that we are all in this together. And then you can make a real connection with them. You can help them. Not only put up with them, but embrace them. Accept them. And love them!