Friendship part 4
I'm trying to say loving people leads to liking them. That's my point. You don't have to be someone's friend to love them. Because if you love them it might just start a friendship. Because in order to love someone you give them everything you have and everything you are, right? You be nice to them. Kind. Generous. Forgiving. And the natural response to that kind of behavior is to like the person that's being nice to you. (Not all of the time, I grant you, but at least some of the time. Its really hard to hate someone that is always nice to you.) And here's the cool part: Instead of "loving everybody" in a grudging way because that's what "Christians are supposed to do," when you just receive and release the love of God you start to find things in people that make it easy. As I said in an early Rant: Love is not blind. Love sees clearly. And that doesn't mean that love just ignores the "bad" stuff. That's what we think "being blind" is love is all about. In truth, love SEES the surface stuff, but it also sees what's BELOW the surface. It sees someone being destructive, but it also sees the pain behind the destruction. Because you can't give what you don't have. And you can only give what you do have. Hurting people hurt people. But loved people love people. Love sees the heart. Because, as Noah found, there is grace in God's eyes. We don't ignore the surface, but we don't have to react to it either. Think about your best friend for a second--on the one hand, you would let them get away with stuff that you wouldn't tolerate from anybody else, right? Because you love them. But at the same time you're not afraid to call them out if they're doing wrong, either. Because you love them. I've said many times, if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. There are some things in life you absolutely should NOT tolerate. But watch this: "...speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Ephesians 4:15). Now what this ISN'T is the "tough love" that we seem to be so fond of where we are actually being mean to someone. What this IS is, "For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth" (Proverbs 3:12). But notice who is doing the correcting; the Lord. Sometimes its not our place. But sometimes it is. When my son messes up--and believe me I delight in him every single day--I correct him. Because I want to help him learn and grow. I speak the truth in love to him. And watch this: Jesus is the Word of God. He is the Truth. The truth IS love. Speaking the truth in love is speaking LOVE in love! Its being there to help people up, and (instead of judging them) its understanding how they fell down. Because we all fall down. That's how you learn how to walk. But if someone kicks you when you're down, its hard to get back up. When someone I love falls down I don't think less of them. I don't even think at all. I just immediately reach down to help them up. That's what seeing clearly is about. Its about accepting people for who they are, and showing them love. And in so doing, showing them who they REALLY are. Giving them something they thought they didn't have. Showing them a more excellent way. Being friendly, and finding that by choosing to love people we are giving them the greatest gift of all!