Helping part 1
Here's the question I seem to ask myself over and over again: Is this helping or hurting? I ask myself if what I'M doing is helping or hurting, because I only want to help. And I ask (myself) if what others are doing is helping or hurting because I can't believe the way people act sometimes. And I understand that its easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. But I've been convicted by Matthew 5:9, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." Peacemakers. Those who HAVE the peace of God (that passes understanding and keeps our hearts and minds) and SHARE the peace of God. Those who are identified as the Son(s) of God because of what they bring to the table. Because of what they make. And here's my thought process: We can either keep pushing until someone goes over the edge... or we can try to diffuse the situation. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). Basically the difference between "winning" and argument, or winning a soul. The difference between helping or hurting. And I'm convinced that its better to have the RIGHT Word (which is Jesus, which is love) than the last word. Its better to be soft and sweet than to pummel someone into oblivion. And here's a key that I've found through hard experience: Very rarely is it possible to change someone's mind. Even if you ARE 100% right. Because you can be right... but if it falls on deaf ears you really aren't being very useful. Which is why relationship is so important. Meeting people where they're at. Being anything to anybody so you can find that common ground. So you can make that connection. And then, once that connection is made, then maybe they'll be able to hear what you have to say. But shouting louder in order to be heard doesn't work. Insisting that people jump through your hoops doesn't work. I've found--again, through a lot of personal experience--that when you demand something, or expect something, from people what you're really doing is setting yourself up for frustration and disappointment. But if you let people be who they are, and love them anyway, love them without wanting anything from them... man, that's special. That's agape God love. Selfless. Sacrifical. Giving everything you are and everything you have with the "motive" simply being that you want others to have what you've got. That's how you help people. And, listen, there are some people out there that you CAN'T help. No matter how hard you try. No matter how much you give. And in those cases I always say, "Give it all you've got. Because at that point its either enough... or its not." You should never put yourself--or keep yourself--in a bad, abusive situation. That's not helping anybody. Enabling is not helping. What's that old song say? "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run." Overstaying your welcome doesn't help anybody. Pushing too hard doesn't help anybody. But, as my father always says, "You can never be too nice to people." And that's not being fake, either. That's being mature. Being nice to those people that you might not like... that's helpful. That's good, and proper. That's love. So take a page out of my book and make sure you're helping, not hurting!