Helping part 2
I've heard it said, and you probably have to, that more is lost by indecision than wrong decision. And I'm sure there's some truth to that. But I think sometimes we make things worse when we rush in. Even when we're trying to fix things. Sometimes we end up hurting instead of helping. Because we don't fully understand the situation. Its like this, I tell my six year old all the time, "I can't help you with the problem, if I don't know what the problem is." So the first thing we need to do is seek to understand. We need to get an idea of what WILL help, so that we don't do the wrong thing (again, even with good intentions) and end up hurting. I think 2 Corinthians 6:6 in the NLT says what I'm trying to say better than I can: "We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love." Understanding. Patience. Kindness. Those are some really helpful things. And those are really safe places to be. Because some situations DO need snap judgments, or reactions, or actions. But If you're being patient so that you can understand, instead of trying to force your own will, that's kind of how you make peace. And you guys have heard "ABC" right? Always Be Kind. Like my daddy always says, "You can never be too nice to people." And like I always say, "When you don't know what to do... do what you know. LOVE!" Because even if you don't understand what's going on, you can still let what's inside come out. And if you're coming from a place of love... I think you'll be ok. If you're doing it because its in your heart to do it, I don't think you can really go wrong. It may not turn out exactly the way you want it to. But if you're loving someone because you want something... well... you aren't really loving them at all. If you're trying to get something out of the deal its not love. Its control, and manipulation. And that doesn't help anybody. Including yourself. I firmly believe that if you have to beg for something--even if you get it--its not worth it. And if you have to force somebody to do something... its not real. What good is "getting what you want" if its not real? I'm a big fan of real. I don't like fluffed and buffed and polished so much. I like real and raw. I like it when its genuine. So while I might get what I want in the moment by this control or manipulation... in the long run I might lose the person entirely. And in the question of helping or hurting, I'd say that would be hurting. "Don't sacrifice what you want most for what you want right now," I think, is what I'm trying to say. And don't sacrifice people to get stuff. I believe the two most important things in the world are God and people. Loving God and loving people. Loving God BY loving people. And one of the best ways to show people you love them is to help them. Not to try to get YOUR own way, but to help them get THEIR own way. To esteem others higher than yourself. To bear one another's burdens. To understand what is truly needed in a given situation, and then give that thing. To see a need and meet it. Don't always try to make things the way YOU think they should be. Sometimes rushing in and trying to fit everything into YOUR box will hurt more than it will help. So take a minute. Have some patience. Understanding. Purity. Kindness. Love...