Kindness part 3
I always talk about how loving someone is the most holy thing you can do. Well, being kind to someone is about the most loving thing you can do. And I say "about" because sometimes you aren't actually helping them by giving in. Sometimes you're just enabling. And that's NOT helping. But even when we have to say no, we can do with kindness. We can do it with understanding. Instead of crushing people, we can validate them. Even if its not going to go their way. "I hear you, I understand where you're coming from, but I can't do it." Like that. Let me say it another way: "But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Ephesians 4:15). Growing up in all things. Remember that maturation process we're always talking about? And it comes from speaking the truth--which is "God is love, and He loves you"--in love. Speaking love IN love. Not this religious "tough love" stuff that we seem to hear so much about. Like parents disowning a child because she got pregnant. That's not love. Love is wrapping your arms around someone when they feel like they're all alone. Love is giving everything you have and everything you are. Which, as always, is not to say that you should put yourself in, or keep yourself in, a bad situation. Give it all you've got, but know that that's either enoguh... or its not. If it is, great. If its not, shrug your shoulders and move on. And either way, be cool about it. I read a quote somewhere, and I can't remember who said it, but it went something like this: "If you bless someone, never remember it. If someone blesses you, never forget it." Don't hold things over people. Don't play the "I scratched your back, now its time for you to scratch mine" card. Do things because they are in your heart to do them, not because you think you'll be able to get someting out of it--now or later. And here's the thing: If you have someone's back, but don't require anything from them... chances are they WILL return the favor. But not as a quid pro quo. Simply because that's what true relationship is. Me looking out for you and you looking out for me. And if that's what's happening, then neither of us need to look out for ourselves. Selfishness is replaced by selflessness. Instead of being self-centered, we can be Christ-centered. Which means people-centered. Because whatever you do to the least of them, you do unto the King. How we treat our neighbor is how we treat (and understand) our God. Because what you believe is inside WILL come out. If you think God is out to get you, chances are you'll be out to get other people. Trying to make yourself look bigger by making them look smaller. But that never works. People can tell what's real (and, yes, I realize sometimes we have blind spots, or sometimes we willfully deceive ourselves, but the cream always rises to the top). The deep calls out to the deep. The light in me recognizes the light in you. Mercy begets mercy. Grace begets grace. Love begets love. And kindness begets kindness. Its like a snowball that rolls downhill and just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Better and better!