Max Effort part 2
Love--giving someone everything you are and everything you have--is the maximum effort that you can give. But love doesn't mean giving more than someone can handle. Loving someone means loving THEM. Seeing a need and meeting it, no matter how big or small. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you doesn't mean trying to get what you want by giving it away. Like, if you want someone to do something to you, doing it to them is probably not the way to go about it. And if your motive is to GET, you've missed the entire point. Because love is never about getting. Because love IS giving. Giving without expectation. Because sometimes, you'll give it all you've got... you'll go the extra mile... and the person you're showering with love will still do what THEY want instead of doing what YOU want. Which, again, if you're trying to get something... its not love at all. Its manipulation and control. My point is: when you're doing what you can do, do it because its in your heart to do it. Or don't do it at all. Because people, for the most part, can smell real. And if you're fake... you're done. It doesn't matter how hard you try to act like you care, if you don't really care that's all it'll ever be--an act. But if you put on those things that we've been talking about from Colossians 3:12... if you do things that are useful, because you're not afraid to humiliate yourself, or suffer, because you're thinking of others and not yourself... then you'll be able to really connect with people. Build relationship. Know what people need and give them what they need. Because love comes in many shapes and sizes. Because people have needs of many different shapes and sizes. If you try to "love" everybody in the same way, its not going to work. People give love in different ways and people receive love in different ways. The love languages, right? So don't try to do a "one size fits all" kind of love. I know some people who only have one tool in their toolbox, and they get frustrated when it doesn't work all of the time. Because nothing works all of the time on all people. Sometimes (rarely, to be honest, but sometimes) I want to talk. Most of the time I like to be quiet. So if you think you're loving me by trying to force me to talk... you're not. Even though talking might be how you express love, its not always how I receive it. So when you're putting in the effort to love ME, do what will help ME. That's where the effort needs to be. Take the time to find out what I need and then give me that. Treat me the way you want to be treated by treating me with kindness. Patience. Mercy. Grace. Love. Don't try to love me the way you wish someone loved you. Because that might not be my love language. But the coolest thing about love is, if you want to experience it you have to give it away. When you love others is when you feel love the most. And for the record, I do love the quote that says, "Be the person you needed when you were young." Because if something was lacking in your life, and you make that thing available... you're filling a need. Making things better. But my point today is, put in the effort to see what I need, and then (if you can) give me what I need. Thinking of others is how you be Christ-centered. Taking care of others is, in a sense, how you take care of yourself. So... more tomorrow.