Mind Over Matter part 1
The phrase that's stuck in my head... and when that happens sometimes I figure I oughta write about it... is, "If you don't mind, it don't matter." And what I'm going to try to say for the next few days is just that: You don't have to let everything that happens on the outside affect what is happening on the inside. Another way to say that is: The fire in you is always hotter than the fire you're in. Another way is Colossians 3:1-2, "If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." I like to quote that second verse a lot, because I think we would do well to SET our affection. To be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. To SET the temperature instead of merely taking it. To be the change we want to see, instead of just complaining about how we don't see it. Letting what's inside us come out instead of letting what's around us rule over us. And I know that can be hard sometimes. Because for the most part we're a pretty emotional species. Something happens and its fight or flight. But one of the Seven Habits of Leadship (from my son's elementary school) is Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Sometimes (most of the time, possibly all of the time) is we would just take a minute to understand what's going on--to maybe dig a little deeper and try to see WHY someone is doing what they're doing, instead of just jumping on them for what they're doing--then I think things might could go a lot more smoothly. Because behavior is communication. People just want to be heard. And sometimes if they feel like nobody's listening... well... kicking and screaming starts to sound like a viable option. And, unfortunately, so many times when that happens we (again) go straight into fight or flight. We get hit so we hit back. Or we get hit so we run and hide in order to make sure we don't get hit again. You know I'm going to pull out the turn the other cheek memory verse, right? So I won't even quote it, but you know what I'm talking about. Love never fails because love endures. Love doesn't demand His own way, and love doesn't run at the first sign of things getting hard. Love can take a punch, if I can put it that way. And I'm not saying you should stay in a situation where you're getting beat on. You know how I feel about putting, or keeping, yourself in a bad situation. But I'm saying, sometimes when someone lashes out, they need someone who will still be there for them no matter what. That's probably what they need more than anything else. And if you can get past that initial explosion... and get to the root of what's really going on... maybe there won't be anymore explosions. You don't have to let someone else's bad day ruin your day. And I say this as someone who has a LOT of empathy. I can always see both sides of the story. I can understand why people feel the way they do--whether its "right" or not. The key is be that peacemaker. To have a word (or Word, capital W, LOVE) in season. To let what's inside come out and affect what's going on outside. Mind (of Christ) over matter. Not reacting to what's happening in a negative sense, but seeing the need and meeting it with love!