Right part 5
Doing the right thing isn't always easy. And it doesn't make everybody happy. Its impossible to make EVERYBODY happy. Because people want different things. So what's "right" for one person might not be "right" for the next. What I'm trying to say is: you can't worry about making everybody happy. In fact, a lot of the time, doing the right thing makes people mad. Especially when they AREN'T doing the right thing, but know that they should be. I can't tell you how many times I've had to say, almost as an excuse, "I'm just trying to do the right thing." But when we come at this from the understanding of what the right thing really is--the right thing to do, always, is love--then we can be ok with it when it isn't easy. We can be ok with it when people don't understand it, or don't accept it, or don't like it. We can do it anyway. And I wanted to use this quote that I mentioned yesterday, because I think it puts us in the right mindset: "When someone blesses you, never forget it. But when you bless someone, never remember it." Which is to say, don't hold things over people's heads. "Remember when I..." That's not cool. Making people feel bad about the good you've done will kind of undo the good that you've done. It will make people resentful. And if you're loving people the goal should be to build bridges, not walls. To build relationships, not drive people away. And I'm telling you right now, if you make someone feel bad about getting help from you... chances are they won't ask for help from you again. In fact, they'll probably cross the street to avoid you. "But I helped them out so many times..." Yeah, good. Be cool about it. And, on the flip side, when someone HAS helped you... that ought to mean something. I'm not saying you should be obligated to them. One of my favorite Bible verses (and I know it seems like they're all my favorite, but still) is Romans 13:8, "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law." And, I mean, loving someone is giving them everything you have and everything you are, but still. Its doing it because its in your heart to do it. Not because you feel obligated to do it. Not because, "I scratched your back, now you better scratch mine." That to me is no good. God keeps no list of right or wrongs, right? So we ought to not, either. We ought to listen to that line from one of my favorite (there it is again) movies, "Deserve's got nothing to do with it." We ought to love people just because we're loved. Because we have love to give. We ought to love because its the right thing to do. And, yes, sometimes loving someone--truly loving them, not enabling them... or trying to manipulate them... or whatever else we dress up in the guise of "love"--will sometimes not be what they want. But I assure you it'll be what they need. And what you need is more important than what you want. Doing the right thing is more important than, well, pretty much anything. Not at someone's expense, and not in order to use it to get something from them, but because you truly have love in your heart that you just want to give away. Love is giving. Don't worry about getting. Do the right thing and give what you've got!