Self Care part 3
Saying no. If you're like me its the last resort. Because if you're like me you want to help people. You want to do what you can do. Someone ask you to do something and you want to say yes. But there are a few things I want to talk about regarding saying no. And the first one is: Sometimes you aren't helping. Sometimes you're enabling. Saying yes when you SHOULD say no--because no is the right answer--is a problem. So you need to look at the situation and use some wisdom and understanding. Helping or hurting, right? Sometimes hanging on does more damage than letting go. You can't help everybody--you just can't--and you can't help everybody by just giving them everything they ask for. If I can be blunt, that's called being a doormat. Letting people walk all over you. And I'm not saying you should fight back. Turn the other cheek, right? But what I'm saying is, if saying yes doesn't really help the person... say no. You don't have to change them. Let me use alcohol as an example. Because its legal if you're 21. But if someone has a problem with drinking... and they ask you to buy them some booze... say no. You don't have to try to force them to get sober. You don't have to try to convince them to go to rehab. Unless its your kid or your spouse that's probably not your job. But you don't have to enable them either. You don't have to hang out with them when they're drinking. And you certainly don't have to buy them any booze. So taking care of someone else by saying no is important. But the one I really wanted to get to is taking care of yourself by saying no. And I want to use Colossians 1:10 as my memory verse for today, "That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God." Walk worthy. Or, as it always strikes me when I read this verse, "Stay in your lane." Being fruitful in every good work doesn't mean trying to do EVERY good work. I say it all the time, "I can do anything, but I can't do everything." And, realistically, I can't do EVERYTHING. There are some people I'm in a unique position to reach. And there are some people that I can't reach no matter how hard I try. So doesn't it make sense to say yes to the people that you can reach and no to the people you can't? Don't try to operate outside of your gifting, if I can say it that way. Don't try to be someone you're not. Don't try to do something you can't do. I can write. I can't draw. So I write. And I don't draw. I used to try to draw, and I would get so frustrated. So frustrated. Because I couldn't get what was in my head to come out through my fingers. I wanted to write and draw my own comics. Man... they were bad. I can't draw a stick figure with a ruler. Truly. So I decided to be who I am. I decided to write. Period. And I don't get frustrated anymore. This is the same thing when dealing with people. I have a truck, so if you ask me to help you move something, I'm all over it. But I don't really like social interactions. So if you ask me to go to a party... polite pass. That's how I take care of myself. I do the things I can do and I don't worry about the things I can't. I say yes when I can--when it makes sense and saying yes is helping and not hurting--and I say no when I need to. No is not a bad word, or a dirty word. Its just a word. And we can't be afraid to use it--properly. When we need to.