Seventy Seven part 3
Look at what Jesus actually said about "How many times should I forgive someone." Matthew 18:22 (NLT), "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!" Which, according to my math (which means, according to my calculator), is 490. Think about that. Even if we were to take Him exactly, precisely literally... when has anybody wronged you five hundred times? Think about the patience and longsuffering that would go into that amount of forgiveness. And think about the starting point. Because Peter started at seven. That was the number he brought into the negotiation. And that was the high end. That was the limit of what Peter thought was acceptable. "If I have to forgive this dude almost ten times... surely that's enough." But is it? Because if anybody has "sinned" against anybody more than seven times... it would probably be humanity "sinning" against God. And His forgiveness knows no limits. Jesus took away the sin of the world. God removed it as far as the East is from the West. Which is an important phrase, because you can only go North for so long before you start going South, but you can go East forever without ever hitting West. He threw it into a sea of forgetfulness. He forgave your sin... and blotted it out of existence. You know who dwells on your sin? YOU. You know who dwells on the sins of others? YOU. We even say things like, "I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget." And I understand where that sentiment comes from--fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME. Because once I knew better I shouldn't have let you fool me again. But Jesus had a more excellent way. He had a "turn the other cheek" way. And, as always, I'm not saying you should stand there and let someone slap you over and over again. I think you can set boundaries and stay out of toxic, abusive situations without holding grudges. And that's the key--if you hold a grudge, you're just hurting yourself. Forgiveness is like unlocking a prison cell and then realizing that YOU were the one in jail the whole time. And it doesn't matter if the person who needs forgiveness is sorry or not. That has nothing to do with anything. Forgiving someone is about YOUR peace of mind. It's about YOUR wholeness and wellness. It's about making sure that YOU can carry on without that bitterness and resentment holding you back. And, let me just say this clearly: I can't image a scenario in which you would have to forgive someone for the same thing 500 times... but if you ever find yourself in that position... keep on forgiving them. There is no limit. There is no, "You went too far." Not in God's eyes, and therefore not in ours. God forgave man once for all on the cross when His Son cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!" And, really, at this point in my life, I don't want apologies from people anyway. Changed behavior is what matters. If you keep doing the same thing over and over... at some point something's gotta give. But it won't be me denying forgiveness. It won't be me holding on to things forever. I have to live my life. If someone doesn't fit into it because of the way they act... that's not me denying forgiveness. That's just me staying healthy on my own end. I believe it was Tupac who said, "Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I'm bigger than that. I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table." You can forgive someone and still choose not to let them keep abusing you. You can love someone from a distance.