Shrug part 5
All you can do is all you can do. And, yes, there are people out there who will want you, and expect you, to do more than you can do. That's where boundaries come in. Boundaries are healthy. Important. Vital. Turning the other cheek is not about letting someone keep slapping you. It is about not retalitating when they do. You don't have to fight with people. You don't have to bang your head against the wall. Do what you can do. Give it your maximum effort. And then let that be enough. Know when to say when. Do your best and forget the rest. Whether they listen or not... tell them. And then, once you've told them, let it be what it's going to be. If someone isn't picking up what you're laying down... shrug your shoulders and walk away. You aren't trapped. You aren't stuck. God allows U-turns. And, in fact, I believe He encourages them. What we need to do is come to a place where OUR love doesn't have any expectations attached to it. If we expect someone to react a certain way to our "love" for them... that might not really be "love" at all. It might be control and manipulation. Like, when you give someone a gift. Once you've given it, you don't have any say in what the person you gave it to does with it. You just give it because it's in your heart to do so. You can't make people... well... do anything, really. All you can control is yourself. And that goes back to the thing about boundaries. Setting boundaries isn't only about what you will accept from people. It is also about what you will do for people. Sometimes when you think you're helping... you're really hurting. Enabling people doesn't help them. Now, I don't believe it's our job to force people to "clean up their act." If the Holy Spirit can't convict them, I know I surely can't. What we can do, though, is not make things worse. We can limit contact with people who are harmful to us. We can say no. We can't "fix" them, but we don't have to let them hurt us, either. Sometimes walking away is the best way to love someone. Love them from a distance. Pray for them, but don't let them prey on you. I think a lot of the time we accept things that we, quite frankly, shouldn't... out of a misguided idea of "love." Saying, "That's just how they are" to excuse toxic behavior. And that's probably true. That probably IS how they are. But that doesn't make it ok. You don't have to let people abuse you just because you love them. Or just because they say they love you. That's not healthy. Not appropriate. And not ok. So shine the light. But if they refuse to see it once you've lit it up... what else can you do? Shrug your shoulders. Don't make a scene. Don't keep fighting. Walk away. Then you'll have peace. And peace is priceless. Peace is worth it. Knowing you did what you could do, and being ok with whatever that results in. "I tried." If you did your best, you did enough. They might not listen. Tell them anyway. And let that be enough. Don't keep shouting into the void. Don't keep banging your head against the wall. Give it all you've got... and let that be enough.