Tough Love part 3
The toughest love you can give to someone is when they do something you don't want them to... and you love them anyway. And guess what else: When someone expects you to shove them away, and instead you wrap them up in a loving embrace... that's one of the most power (toughest?) things in the world. I think a lot of the time we rob ourselves of things in life because we are afraid of disappointing people. So we either don't do something, or we hide what we've done. I always say, "It is what it is." Especially if we're talking about our pasts. You can't change that. It happened. And if you hide from it, or try to hide it, instead of just dealing with it and moving on, well, if YOU can't move past it that makes it hard for anyone else to be able to. And when you refuse to let love in (that might make you tough to love) then, like I said, you're robbing yourself of something that's available to you. I think that's what Jesus was talking about in John 10:1, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that entereth not by the door into the sheepfold, but climbeth up some other way, the same is a thief and a robber." Because the sheepfold is the Kingdom, right? When we try to "get into," or experience, the Kingdom any other way than through the door--which is the heart, because the Kingdom of God is the Kingdom of Love--when we try to earn something that can't be earned and look for love in all the wrong places... that's when WE become the thief and the robber. When we rob OURSELVES of what we have been freely given. And when we get down to John 10:10 Jesus says, "The thief cometh not, but to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." We kill ourselves trying to be someone we're not, so that we can get something we think we haven't got. When Jesus wants us to rest in HIS finished work and enjoy the fruit of HIS labor. Because LOVE is what makes the abundant life abundant. And LOVE is the fruit of the Spirit. The fruit of Jesus' labor. Not "tough love" that puts demands on us and tries to make us earn it. Not kicking someone when they're down and making them run FROM us (and God) instead of running TO us (and God). Not basing our actions towards people on their actions toward us, but giving them everything we have and everything we are regardless. In Matthew 10:8 Jesus says, "Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give." And I'm not even talking about those kinds of miracles. I'm simply talking about loving people even when its tough. About reaching out to people even though they've slapped your hand away. Letting people be who they are and loving them anyway. You don't have to agree with someone to love them. And you don't have to condone their actions either. I'm not talking about enabling people when I say you should love them no matter what. Because, as we've seen, sometimes the best thing you can do for everybody involved is to let go. Don't keep banging your head against the wall. Don't go past the point of "helping" to where you start hurting. I know its a fine line. And I know its tough (see what I did there?) to find that balance sometimes. But when you give something all you've got its either enough... or its not. And if its not... then its not. But you did what you could do. And that's all that should ever be expected.