Tough Love part 4
Tough love isn't crushing somebody with your expectations. Tough love is loving them even when they don't live up to you-r expectations. Tough love is being tough enough to love people regardless... and being tough enough to let go when holding on will hurt instead of help. Tough love is not forcing someone else to fit into your box. Love does not demand its (HIS) own way. Tough love is understanding that there IS no box. That there ar)e only people. And as similar as we all are when you get right down to the bottom of it... we really are individual snowflakes. We all have different things that make us... us. And what I've found to be one of the "toughest" parts of love is the truth that nothing works for everybody. People receive love differently. So you can't treat everybody the same way, even when you're loving everybody. And that can be tough because everybody GIVES love in different ways. So you need to find what works, on a case by case basis. Let me say it another way, "For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some" (1 Corinthians 9:19-22). And that's my thought for today. Loving people means giving all you have and all you are, gladly, without thought of what you GET from all your GIVING. But at the same time, you need to use some wisdom. Be all things to all people. Give people what you have. Yes. You can't give what you don't have. But give people what THEY need. Don't try to FORCE what you have on them. I'm convinced that when you try to shove Jesus down people's throat... people choke on Him. And that's not what we want. We don't want people to run FROM God. We want people to run TO God. Because they see something (someONE, love) that they desperately need. They see a more excellent way. They don't see people who will kick you when you're down. They see people who are right down there with you. People who will help you up when you stumble and fall. And yeah, I get it, that's tough to do sometimes. Especially when we reach out and get our hand slapped away. Especially when we KNOW what's best but someone won't listen. And that's where letting go comes in. We have to let people make their own mistakes, and still love them enough to help them clean up the mess. THAT'S tough love. Loving people when the going GETS tough. Not judging people--and, again, you don't have to condone, or participate in anything you're uncomfortable with. Not being without law to God, but being under the law to Christ. Keeping your own personal integrity. But you also don't have to force that integrity on others. You can't control people. You just can't. And even if you could, it wouldn't be real. If you have to beg someone for something, even if you get it its not worth it. Real change doesn't come from our idea of tough love; forcing it in from the outside. Real change comes from the revelation of what is INSIDE, and that love inside coming out!