Value part 1
Lately, for pretty much the first time in my life, I've been looking at WHY people do things. Up until now I've just kind of assumed people would do whatever they wanted to do. But for the last couple of weeks I've kind of been peeking behind the curtain and trying to see what's going on behind the scenes. And it's not so that I can control or manipulate. Of course not. It's so I can understand, and support. Basically, I've really been getting into the revelation in Mark 10:45 (NLT), "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." A couple of years ago I wrote a FaceBook post about how a life of service was the only life really worth living. And I'm not sure I had any real idea what I meant by that. But it was in my heart, so it came out. And I think my focus really DID switch from being self-centered to being Christ-centered. Which means being people-centered. Loving God by loving people. Focusing on others instead of myself. Which is what I think it means to be humble; not thinking less of yourself, but just thinking of yourself less. Which means thinking of people more. And I'm not saying we can necessarily figure out exactly why people do the things they do. Sometimes it's just waking up on the wrong side of the bed, you know? But I'm saying that the things we repeat, our habits, have to have some value in them. We have to do those things for a reason. And, bottom line--or TOP line, as my son Logan says, because you put the most important things on the top line--we do what we do because we think it will get us closer to what we want. We go to work every day because it gets us what we want (or at least need), which is money. That one is fairly obvious. But what about some of the less obvious, and perhaps more self destructive things? The Bible tells us that, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church" (Ephesians 5:29). Which I always thought was just flat out wrong. Because I've seen people who hated themselves. I've seen people scar up their bodies. I've seen people do the exact WRONG thing. In fact, we see it all the time. Don't we? Head scratching moments where there's just no explanation of someone's actions. Except there ARE explanations. Sometimes feeling physical pain is better than feeling nothing at all. Sometimes being "self destructive" is really a cry for help. We have a sign at work that says, "Behavior is communication." And I try to take that to heart. I try to see behavior as something more than just the end result. It's like I always say, "Love doesn't HAVE a motivation, love IS the motivation." So what's the motivation? WHY is someone banging their head against the wall? What's the value in it? Nobody wants a headache. Nobody hates his own flesh. But maybe there's so much frustration there that there's no other way to express it. And if I can see that it's about frustration... then maybe, just maybe, I can help with that. Maybe I can be a better servant. Instead of just saying, "Stop banging your head," and trying to modify behavior, maybe we can find another outlet for that frustration. Maybe we can get to the root of the problem. I don't think people do things just to do them. I think there has to be some value to the things that we do.