Value part 5
Perhaps if our goal was to understand and support, rather than to manipulate and control, we wouldn't constantly find ourselves getting so worked up about other people and what they do. Perhaps if we saw the value behind their actions--more than just, "I wish they wouldn't do that," even to the point of understanding WHY they do that--then we could stop building walls and start building bridges. Because here's the bottom line: People are going to do what they're going to do. And you CAN'T control them. Scaring people into a certain type of behavior will only work if the fear is greater than the desire. And the simple truth is, fear is NOT greater than desire. Even the fear of getting caught pales in comparison to the thrill of getting what you want. Let me say it another way: Strict parents produce sneaky kids. Rather than crushing people with rules that the rule givers can't even follow (Where do we think the phrase "Do as I say, not as I do" came from, after all?) is no way to accomplish anything. Instead we ought to, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). And my emphasis is on the word "should." Train up a child in the way he SHOULD go. Show him a more excellent way. Don't tell him what's wrong with him, tell him what's RIGHT with him. People are used to the world kicking them when they're down. We ought to REACH down and help people up. Show people that they have value by valuing them. By letting them be who they are. By understanding that people learn in different ways, and at different speeds. Just because we're in different places in the never-ending everlasting life-long journey into the heart of the matter doesn't one is better than the other. We need to give people the time, and opportunity, and space, to grow. We need to see that if someone is kicking and screaming and shouting... chances are they want to be heard. So if we ignore them, or try to just make them be quiet, what we're doing is telling them what they want doesn't matter. When it DOES matter. We need to start embracing people and letting them know that we DO hear them. We DO see them. We see them and hear them with the eyes and ears of the Spirit. With grace, and mercy, and patience, and love. The value of love is in the loving, right? So there's no better way to show someone that they DO have value than to show them love. And when we do that (whether we use the word "God" or not) we SHOW them God. Because God IS love. So rather than shoving Jesus down people's throats, and ensuring that they choke on Him, we ought to just love the hell out of them. Instead of tearing people down, we ought to build them up. That's what Scripture was given for, by the way. That's the work of the five-fold ministry, "And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ" (Ephesians 4:11-12). And you "perfect" the saints by telling them that they ARE perfect. By showing them what it MEANS to be perfect. It's not about getting something we lack. It's about understanding what we have. Understanding the value in OUR actions, and in the actions of others. Understanding OUR value, and the value of others!