Wifey part 3
I think my main focus of this Rant series is that a wife is a blessing, and it is important to treat her as such. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 has a lot to say about marriage. Today I want to focus on 1 Corinthians 7:3, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband." Give and take. Because marriage, like any good relationship, is a two way street. If you're just trying to manipulate and control someone... that's not love. And there are (at least) two Bible verses that command a husband to love his wifey. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25), and "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them" (Colossians 3:19). Point being, the point of having a wife is not to GET something from her, but to GIVE something to her. To give YOURSELF to her. That's the picture of Jesus and the church. A husband (Jesus) laying His life down for His bride (the church). And, by the way, WE are the church. The church isn't just somewhere you go. The church is someone you are. Individually AND collectively. Now, I want to talk about this idea of "due benevolence." And, listen, there IS a sexual element to it. That's the context of what Paul was writing about. You know, its better to wed than to burn with lust, and all that. But the word "benevolence" is number 2133 in Strong's Greek Concordance and it means, "kindness; euphemistically conjugal duty: - benevolence, good will." So while there's an element of being physically intimate with your spouse--which is good, and proper, and important--I think the benevolence that is due to your spouse is simply making sure that they know that they are number one in your life. Making sure that you love, honor, and cherish them. And my favorite part of that verse is the "likewise" part. Husbands and wives receiving from each other and releasing to each other. Kind of the idea of figuring things out together instead of running to other people when you have a problem. And, yes, I agree that there is wisdom in multitude of counsel. But sometimes, when it comes to that husband/wife relationship, you need to just block out everybody else and figure it out together. Because that's what the marriage is--figuring life out together. Sharing your life with each other. Making sure you both know that you are both the most important adult in the others' life. Let me say it this way: If its important to one of y'all... its important. Because she is important to him. And he is important to her. That's the way it has to be in order to work. Walking side by side through whatever comes into your path. Walking hand in hand. Giving the other what they need by giving yourself. Love is giving. Giving everything you have and everything you are. And the bond that you form with your spouse is just about the most important one that you're going to have. Look at Ecclesiastes 9:9, "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in his life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun."